The Alberta Elder Abuse Awareness Council defines elder abuse as any action or inaction by a person in a trusting relationship that causes harm and distress to an older adult. Abuse can take many forms including financial, emotional, physical, neglect, sexual, and medication abuse.
Financial and emotional abuse are the most common and often occur together; both can be hard to detect. These forms of abuse are difficult because they involve someone the older adult knows and trusts, such as a child, grandchild, or caregiver. The warning signs are often hidden behind complex family dynamics and deep emotional bonds between the person being harmed and the harmer.
Imagine trusting a loved one to help manage your bills, only to discover they have used your savings to buy a new car. When questioned, they respond that you don’t need that much money anyway or I am getting it eventually, why not give it to me now. This isn’t just about stolen money, it’s about betrayal and the complete erosion of trust and sense of security.
For many older adults, this kind of exploitation brings deep feelings of guilt, confusion, and shame. The financial loss is compounded by the loss of safety and trust in those closest to them.
Financial and emotional abuse are often hidden behind family ties and polite smiles, which make it one of the most deceptive forms of abuse in older adults. The abuse often comes from the people who are expected to protect and care for their aging loved ones, which makes it more difficult to recognize and report.
It can begin as simple as a small gift or loan and can slowly escalate into ongoing financial abuse. Emotional abuse is even harder to define. Many older adults don’t recognize the behavior as abusive, especially when it involves a loved one. Subtle manipulation, guilt-tripping, or constant criticism can be brushed off or misunderstood but these behaviors can cause lasting emotional harm over time.
As our world becomes increasingly digital, older adults may rely on family members to manage online banking, passwords, and digital accounts. While this support may be needed, it can also open the door to misuse. In some cases, access to personal and financial information is exploited and might go unnoticed until serious damage has occurred. By that time, the older adult’s funds are depleted and they have experienced great emotional harm.
Abuse thrives in situations where there is a power imbalance. Risk factors can include unemployment, substance use, or a sense of entitlement in the person providing care or support. These circumstances can create pressure or manipulation or coercion that leaves the older adult vulnerable to the abuse.
Many people experiencing abuse feel guilt and shame, despite them having done nothing wrong. It can be especially hard to speak out when the harmer is someone the older adult once protected, raised, or loves. Confronting that betrayal is difficult and often a significant barrier to seeking help or to reporting it.
Recognizing the signs and supporting the older adult with compassion are key steps toward preventing financial and emotional abuse. Everyone deserves to feel safe, especially in their own home and among their loved ones.
If you suspect someone is being mistreated, the best way to help is with empathy and support rather than a “fix it” approach. It can start with a gentle check-in.
- Here are a few helpful phrases from the “Neighbor, Family and Friends – It’s Not Right” education series:
- “I’ve noticed you seem a bit stressed lately. Is everything okay?”
“You mentioned your [family member/caregiver] is helping with your finances. How’s that going?” - “You can always talk to me if something doesn’t feel right. I’m here for you.”
- “Sometimes people take advantage of older adults without them realizing it. If that ever happens to you, it’s not your fault and you don’t have to handle it alone.”
If they are ready to talk, thank them for opening up. Offer to help them connect with local elder abuse support services or community resources. Even small, caring conversations can make a meaningful difference to help them open up and talk about their experience.
Finally, trust yourself and your instincts. If something doesn’t seem right reach out and start a conversation. You can simply ask “Are you ok?” and let them know you feel worried about them. You can also reach out to the many services offered by Unison to help you navigate tools and resources to help and visit www.albertaelderabuse.ca for more information.
