I was invited to speak on a podcast hosted by a marketing company called Cyan in early October. Cyan asked me the usual questions, like tell us about Unison, tell us your hopes for the future. Then, they asked me to tell them a story. I didn’t hesitate to share something that rocked me to my core.
During my first year at Unison, I have heard many stories of hunger, the budgeting fiasco of choosing between food, medication or transportation, bereavement and loss, but the one that keeps me up at night is a tale of betrayal.
For privacy, I will call the main character of this true story Anne. Anne moved from home, across the sea, to live with her son in Canada. Things went well for a few weeks, but slowly, Anne’s son began to restrict her movement, her finances, even her food. He began threatening her, that if she didn’t listen, if she didn’t obey his orders, he would throw her out on the street.
Instead of exploring her new community and meeting new people, she was being starved out. Anne’s son was pilfering her retirement funds, and verbally and emotionally assaulting her. Eventually, Anne found us. She recovered at the Unison Elder Abuse Shelter for about a year.
Anne is one of many. About one in 10 seniors in Canada experience elder abuse, and that is actually a low estimate because most abuse isn’t reported, but to give you an idea of the scope of the problem, 1/10 of seniors is about the population of the city of Toronto, Ontario.
Elder abuse rates are higher for non-white, immigrant women, and particularly high for Indigenous women, and women with disabilities. Men certainly also experience abuse, but for women, it is a systemic, chronic problem.
Abuse is defined broadly in Alberta to include physical and sexual violence, neglect, emotional and verbal assault. Threats, infantilizing, stealing, forced confinement, starving, not giving proper care, and a long list of violations comprise elder abuse. It’s the opposite of what we work on at Unison. We want seniors to live their best lives, with support, resources, community, connection, and fun.
Family dynamics have a way of snaking under our skin and creating excuses for behaviours that aren’t acceptable. I have never met Anne or her son, and can’t speak on their behalf, but I’m glad she came to us, and I’m glad we could help her.
Unison’s Elder Abuse Shelter works with clients for one year after they leave, making sure they have resources and connections in the community to support their new life, away from their abuser. They are connected to Unison’s Senior Services department to make sure their income, taxes, pension and benefits are up-to-date. Clients are connected to Unison’s Thrive Food Security department (Calgary’s only senior-specific food bank), to make sure they have free food resources. We also make sure they feel comfortable reaching out to our Wellness Connection Centre, where we have grief support, meditation, and a bridge to wellness. Unison is a not-for-profit organization, and every penny is funnelled into our operations to support our ultimate stakeholders - people like Anne.
If you have the capacity, and want to help, please donate. You could be saving someone’s life.
unisonalberta.com/donate